Aclaración
- Aunque el relato es un ensayo y no corresponde a un suceso real, sí que se ajusta con exactitud a la problemática que viven los jóvenes Testigos cuando continuamente son manipulados y presionados para que trabajen gratuitamente para la Watchtower. Según les hacen ver, la decisión about their lives, hopes and projects not available to them. Forgive the use of words sounding wrong. I do not know what words you would use a suicide in a fit of madness, nor the love of a person who loses the love of his youth. In an act of empathy, I took those and not others.
Patricio Esteve Garcia - Woman in the Mirror
- my God! Paloma I, your faithful servant.
- I'm tired! I feel sad and irritable! 
- I have no desire to preach! - I'm sick of listen we need money!
- I have no desire to go to the Kingdom Hall!
- I have no desire to preach! - I'm sick of listen we need money! - I have no desire to go to the Kingdom Hall!
- Lord, my God, what are you going?
What is happening to the Dove? Maybe she is exhausted, emotionally and mentally. Why? Because it takes many years to the best of herself and has no compensation, just listen to speeches of urgency to preach and make disciples and weekly announcements asking for more donations for the United Kingdom, not just arrived, "and if you relax a little, blame and looks severe. That end of the world that swore they would soon begin to evaporate like the morning dew: Spent 1975, 1984 also went to the end of the century as well.
The future direction of Paloma changed when her mother and this witness was dissuaded so she also did. Paloma was baptized at the age of fifteen. She was a bright student who did not start a medical career because he was-and is "frowned upon among the Witnesses pursue higher education, because according to her count, there is abundant immorality and evil and the Lord also wants young people to devote their youth to the interests of the Kingdom of God. Since she dreamed of becoming a doctor from Doctors Without Borders, "but I can not be for the Lord was the first thing a pity! Paloma
suspect something is wrong. She is depressed but can not say for it is not seen to miss meetings. Paloma had been surprised if she had known the number of brothers and sisters who are is the same situation of despair and remain silent for fear of reprisals, but she can not know that because the other fellow members seem to be fine.
Paloma
the other day caught up with me, a mundane, and I greeted her with a smile. It had been thirty years since the last time we met. I accompanied my wife and daughters: We were very happy because we were going to spend Christmas with family. Paloma out of their work. She works at Christmas it is forbidden to enjoy the Christmas atmosphere typical of this time. She did not look happy and had a bad face, like when someone is not healthy. In their eyes I could still see a glimmer of love that I had. Summer still remember when we walked together along the banks of the river, I always knew she was in love with me Why Paloma rejected me? Ah yes! He was a worldly, good people, but a mundane to the end of the day, and his religion is allowed out with people of my ilk. Wanted to become to save your relationship but I did not witness me and eventually I left because, she says, in his life was the Lord first.
And against all odds she answered my greeting with a broken voice and in a low tone:
- Hello!
I would talk but did not, and Paloma recoiled as if thrown from behind her with a rope. She continued her way in a hurry and crestfallen.
Yes, I think Paloma suspect something is wrong since last summer because she is dying. It is going to a psychologist because among the Witnesses is frowned upon. In that state, she has no strength to do anything. Paloma has not informed his preaching for six months, is inactive, and shout and reproachful looks from his brethren. Go to the Hall is an ordeal for her. The elders visited in October and said the depression is cured by praying and preaching the precursor-hours per month. He is finishing the year and Paloma is worse than ever.
One day in late December, going to the Kingdom Hall, where Paloma was headed to his seat, he heard a whisper behind him and knew that she was criticizing. Imagined they would be saying to them: "This sister is wrong spiritually, certainly has committed a grave sin, they say that she is dating a man from his work and a trusted friend told me that have been secretly fornicating liars Chismosas ! Already in his seat, Paloma laments and inside it says: Why does not anyone ask me how I feel? Why nobody seems to know what's wrong? And do not tell me I've lost faith! In these thoughts began to mourn. Is the approach the elderly with a smile of commitment, she thinks, and think they are mocking with carnival masks.
- You can help Paloma sister? The question-
- Leave me alone! She cried and sobbed Paloma rose abruptly and left the Kingdom Hall. Not allowed to accompany her mother and left for home.
Paloma, dear friend: I have 48 years and you're single and no longer menstruating. No, you no longer have children who love to your old age. Your job will not excited. The Watchtower and promises are worthless and have no signs to tell you that your future will be otherwise. The memory of spending your youth as a preacher in places of need and not comfort you, quite the contrary, I am saddened and embittered you, but always automatically contain your emotions and that the Witnesses have to look happy in front of others. Want a smile, but only you get a grin as if it were a nervous tic.
're alone in your house and your room you stand in front of the mirror and you look, you find the beauty of your youth in your face and old, and desperately do not stop to touch and stretch the wrinkled skin. Raisins maquillándote nearly two hours and your face does not improve. The tears will come out leaving a big pain in your eyes. The head looks like that's going to erupt at any moment, and I can not stand more ... And you get to shout
- Sons of bitches! Bastards! Why I do this. I have been a good witness, I have good witness, very good. Liar! It's all a big lie and you have deceived me.
- Damn! Poor babies! You ruined my life.
- Honey, love of my youth, always love you, forgive me for being so stupid. I'm not bad girl, I was just stupid. Could we be so happy. Paloma
taken with Bible and angrily forces his spear against the glass breaking into pieces. Pain grabbed one piece and, between sobs and deep sadness, he raises his head to the sky and they kill by nailing a piece of mirror on his throat. Falls on the carpet and while bleeding in his mind over and over again: I love you I love you, forgive me.
already died five years ago Paloma. Every year when these Christmas days come, I always remember Paloma. And tears I say: Sect despicable! What the did for Paloma? I did that really wanted. You farmed until exhaustion, until it was not anything more to offer. Even the dignity managed to maintain bastards! Poor babies!
MORFEO, MADRID, 31 DECEMBER 2007
oOo
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